Saturday, July 16, 2011
My Girlfriend's a Virgin, but she's lying about it?
We started dating about seven months ago. I've always known she was relatively inexperienced; nonetheless, slightly experienced (from what she told me from the get go).I don't care either way if she is a virgin (never been with a man or woman), but I don't get why she doesn't trust me enough to know that is doesn't matter. We haven't had sex yet, but the closer we get the more obvious it becomes...and I know she's never been with anyone intimately. She's 100% completely a naive virgin. I've been patient for her sake- she's very insecure about how she'll perform in bed...whether or not she'll be any good. I have always tried to reassure her, telling her not to worry and "what doesn't come naturally she will learn." However, no matter what I say, I can tell she's slightly terrified when it comes to how she'll perform in bed (even though I've told her I have no problem taking the lead, showing her whatever she doesn't know). Last night she invited me over and we were cuddled up under the covers, watching a movie in bed. Sex is not something she is very comfortable talking about (no she wasn't raised religious at all), but somehow we were on that exact topic. She's told me in the beginning that she was with another girl (her first and only relationship) and that they had sex once or a few times. I have never really asked her detailed questions about her past sexual relation, but I've been growing curious. So, last night I asked if she had ever gone down on a girl or if she's ever had it done to her. She turned scarlet, averting her eyes from mine falling completely silent. The question was very embarrassing for her and a few seconds later she began fidgeting with her hands, when she whispered "no." I could see she was becoming teary-eyed and on the verge of crying. At that moment I wanted to just come out and ask her if she was a virgin and if she is, it's a wonderful thing! But her reaction to my question was (unexpected) pretty much breaking my heart, so I didn't. I believe I definitely know why she lied in the first place, she thought from the start that I would not be interested in her if she was an inexperienced virgin (and no matter what I say might still feel this way), but I don't care either way...I just want her to be honest with me! I don't think her any less of a lesbian or person because she's a virgin. Anyway, although we haven't had sex yet, we've been getting very close and nothing is more confirming than her surprised and slightly baffled reactions to my intimate touch. She thinks her virginity is a secret, but it's clearly not. I don't want to go all the way until she's completely honest with me. I could just blurt it out and ask her why she's so ashamed of coming clean. I kind of think she knows that I know by now, but she's too ashamed to tell me the truth. When we have sex fully there will be no denying it, but should I bring it up or leave it? Honestly,I think the whole thing is kinda cute/endearing, but I don't want to make her cry again. Should we move forward (continue sexually) and let it come out on it's own?
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